What is Self Compassion?
Self-compassion is a form of self-kindness. Self-Compassion involves an awareness of the suffering of oneself and others, and the subsequent desire to alleviate that suffering. Compassion is a warm and caring feeling where one aims to help rather than to harm or to judge, and it require one to be willing to sit with discomfort so that they can understand one’s suffering without avoiding it.
Self-compassion is utilizing this warm and caring feeling towards ourselves when we fail, feel inadequate or suffer. During difficult times having self-compassion is to embrace failure instead of criticizing ourselves for it. Developing self-compassion is difficult but can be accomplished through hard work on one’s own or through targeted therapy offered with Kaelen at Path Positive.
The following are 5 strategies for developing and enhancing self-compassion. Each strategy includes an explanation and recommendations for developing that part of self-compassion. Should you ever have any questions Kaelen is here to support you, feel free to contact him here.
Strategies for Self Compassion
Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a way to be fully present in yourself, you must take your focus and become fully present in who we are and what we are doing. In a self-compassionate context, it allows us to sit with and understand our emotions. Mindfulness requires us to feel comfortable with negative and positive emotions while balancing avoidance and hyperfocus on emotions. To be properly mindful we must not overanalyze our emotions, consider following the strategies below.
Strategies to boost mindfulness include paying attention to yourself, take a moment to slow down and focus on yourself, and feel your senses. Live in the moment, bring attention to what you are doing, place your focus on the present. When having trouble focusing on the present try to focus on your breathing instead. Finally, the last strategy you may benefit from is focused meditation.
Self Kindness
Self-Kindness is being kind to ourselves when we fail or fall short. We often already feel bad about the mistake, and we must forgive ourselves and embrace the mistake with warmth. Understanding that the mistake occurred but does not define us. Self-kindness involves treating ourselves as full of worth regardless of whether we meet or fall short of our expectations.
Increasing self-kindness requires a conscious effort, we must be aware of our self-talk and we must learn to change that self talk. Common strategies include writing kind letters to yourself, practicing gratitude, encouraging yourself, and providing yourself with comfort. I recommend trying to find a balance between these strategies that allows you to be kind to yourself when you do not meet your expectations.
Community
To have community we must recognize we are a part of a common humanity, and acknowledge that we are all people who are facing similar problems. Community has us understand that we are not alone, and others have struggled in similar ways. This allows us to be more forgiving with ourselves.
To build our community and find our common humanity, we need to find and build friendships with other people. Despite how unlikely it seems, other people have struggled in similar ways and we can work with them to better understand ourselves and show greater self-compassion.
Which Strategy are you currently using to find your Self-Compassion?
Mindfulness
Self Kindness
Community
All of the Above
Importance of Having Self Compassion
Self-compassion is a vital skill that has been linked to better livelihood including increased happiness, optimism and curiosity, as well as reduced anxiety, depression, rumination and fear of failure. Research suggests that self-compassion is a skill that can be developed with long lasting positive effects.
Self-compassion is a way for viewing yourself, your failures and successes in a way that allows you to embrace them without being stuck in them. This skill is critical in today’s environment as it allows us to grow from our challenges and find new path’s to meeting our goals. The adaptability provided allows for better accommodation to future stressful events and will help people who learn it to succeed.
Self-compassion takes work to develop, but long-lasting positive effects have been found in some starting at just 8 weeks of training. If you are interested in learning more about self-compassion our team is happy to assist with any questions, and Kaelen offer’s self-compassion training and self-compassion focused therapy. If you are interested, we invite you to book a session, or email us with any questions.
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